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Survive Her Affair | Affair Recovery System for Men

surviving her affairOne of the most psychologically grueling experiences that a man can ever face is finding out that his wife was cheating on him. Knowing that your wife is cheating is more stressful than going to jail or being fired from a job, and just as stressful as having a divorce. Thus, all guys need a system which will help them move on from their wives’ affairs, as well as to help them know how to resolve any past and emerging problems related to the affair. For this, we have the system called “Survive Her Affair“.
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The author of the program, Kevin Jackson, is certainly credible in the tips he shares on “Survive Her Affair”. After all, his wife cheated on him too, and he felt intense emotional and psychological pain from that. However, he was able to move on and resolve any problems that arose. If you are a man with a wife who is having an affair, Kevin wants you to realize that you are not alone in your predicament. Many people are undergoing the same situation you are in, so the book is for you.

Some Survive Her Affair Product Cons

While the system has many useful things to impart, it is important to know first what it is not intended to do.

• First, this is not for men whose wives haven’t cheated on them at all. Those husbands are better off looking for advice on how to keep a relationship stable and loving over time.

• Second, this is not for men who want to look for ways to retaliate against their wives who cheated on them. While
cheating is not condoned at all, so is retaliation.

• Third, if you are the cheating party and you just want your wife to return to you (if she left), then definitely you will not get tips on that from this book.

The three things just mentioned are not really product cons – but they will be cons from your perspective if you do not use the system properly, or if the system is not really intended for you.

• Remember that this system is not intended for women to have, but for men. Also, if you aren’t married, then this system won’t help much in sustaining an existing relationship – but you can use this system as a resource for helping another man move on from a wife who cheated him.

Main Survive Her Affair Product Pros

Now, what will you get from the the “Survive Her Affair” system?

• Originally, you can purchase the MP3s for $37, an eBook for $47, and both for the combined price. However, right now, you can easily get both for just $47. So why buy the eBook only when you can purchase both for the price of just the eBook?

You will learn lots of things from the system. Lots of things, really – things that aren’t often talked about in discussions with other guys. Here is a glimpse of some them:

• You will know various reasons why your wife may have cheated on you, along with a finding that states that women are hardwired to lie about their affairs – thus building up your empathy.

• You will know how to instantly relieve yourself of the mental and emotional pain after knowing of the affair – as well as details on how to remove images of the affair from your head.

• You will know whether you should save the marriage or just let it go, with this piece of advice – you will find out why proving that you can be a better husband will not work!

• You will know that your wife should take all the blame for the affair and you will find out how not to be a “good husband” in ways that can cause you more angst following your wife’s affair. You will also learn how to resist thinking of your sexual insecurity.

• You will know how not to be self-destructive following a wife’s affair.

• You will know how to protect the children from the affair (the top priority) and how to regain peace of mind instantly in just three steps.

From these tidbits you should have an idea on what the system is gearing you for.

• It is a pragmatic system, with pieces of advice for every conceivable situation you can get stuck into.

• It is step-by-step, which may make you think that it is too restrictive at first, but you will save yourself from more pain with this system because it prevents you from acting too impulsively and from causing harm to yourself and to others.

Recommendation

The “Survive Her Affair” system is highly recommended for men who are torn in the next steps they should do following an affair of their wives. If you are one of these men, you are in good hands with Kevin’s system. You can get over the affair, you can lead a more peaceful future life, and you need not regret anything if you are sincere in examining your conscience. You can surely survive any affair, as Kevin did already, and you can emerge from it stronger than ever.

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Cheating Spouse|How Much Do You Trust Your Cheating Spouse

It’s safe to assume that your answer would not be 100%. Affairs have devastating effects, not just on your feelings, but also on the foundations of your marriage. Nothing breaks a person’s trust like an affair, and you know that without trust, there’s no way of saving a marriage. But, what if you would find out that you could trust your spouse again? Let’s say 25%, 50% or 75%. How would that impact your feelings about the possible success of saving your marriage? Read on to learn about the three forms of trust in a relationship, so you can find out how much you really trust your spouse… your cheating spouse.

Post-Affair Emotions Impacts Trust

The days that come after discovering your spouse’s infidelity seem like hell and you have a whirlwind of emotions. You still can’t fully believe it but the pain you go through is indescribable. Over time, you realize that you have to heal yourself and try to save your marriage. You work on most aspects of your marriage but sometimes you still ask yourself if you can trust your partner. Reestablishing trust may be difficult, but it is not impossible. There are different forms of trust and there is no “one correct way” of trusting people. Unlike what most people believe, trust isn’t black and white.

Three Forms of Trust

There are areas in your relationship where trust still exists, even after your spouse’s affair. Understanding this can help you feel better. All is not lost and you can work on building up the trust you have left. Despite the infidelity, it is possible to have some trust left because there are different forms of trust in a relationship. There is potential in rebuilding your trust from each of the forms.

1. Physical Safety

If you have, and hopefully never will, experienced, domestic violence, then you may not have appreciated this form of trust. You trust that your spouse will never physically harm or threaten you, and in case of emergencies like earthquakes or fire, you trust that your spouse will keep you out of danger.

2. Financial Security

Financial partnerships naturally exist within marriages. Whatever your agreement is on your income and expenses, whether you pool your income together or each shoulder particular expenses, having this agreement is a great sign that you still trust each other. Financial security means that you trust your spouse to do the responsible thing with the money you. Trusting each other that each of you will do their share in keeping a roof over and putting food on the table, is a definite sign that you still trust each other.

3. Emotional Predictability

You know your spouse well enough to trust him or her to be somewhat predictable in expressing their emotions, and you might have taken this for granted. Imagine if your spouse’s emotional response was unpredictable. You wouldn’t be able to trust that he or she wouldn’t do crazy things in public, like throw things at you because of some random reason. You wouldn’t be able to know how your spouse would react

How Much You Trust Your Spouse

Now that you’ve learned about the different forms of trust, try to rate each of them to find out how much you trust your spouse. Rate your level of trust for each of the three forms of trust on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest level of trust, meaning you trust your spouse 100% to give yourself an idea of how much you still trust your spouse. If you have discovered that you do, on some level, trust him or her, then you still have the foundation to rebuild trust and let it grow once more. This could be the glimmer of hope that your looking for in saving your marriage.

After an Affair|How To Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts After An Affair

After an AffairWhen you have been cheated on, after the affair, you may start to feel like you are losing your mind. Your thoughts may get out of control to the point where it is starting to drive your crazy. This is completely normal because you have suffered an emotional blow by finding out that the person you trusted has lied to you and cheated on you. It is natural to get overrun by negative thoughts that cause you to be tired, miserable, and unhappy.

You were most likely not expecting it when you found about the affair, so you still need time to process it and the effects it has on your relationship. This article will discuss some coping methods that will help you regain control of your thoughts and push out all the negativity from your mind after an affair.

Have Negative Thoughts Taken Control?

Part of what has your thoughts so out of control is the questions that are running through your mind. You probably want to know why your spouse cheated on you, who he or she cheated with, and why they were attracted to this other person. You probably are trying to figure out when exactly it happened and how it was possible not to have known about it when it was going on right under your nose.

It is hard to ever know what is the truth anymore, and your mind is filled with doubt and negative thoughts. You may feel as though you are not sexy enough to your spouse, and that is why he or she had an affair. You may blame yourself for spending to much time at work building up your career. Perhaps you put your kids first ahead of your marriage, and you feel this is to blame. You may feel that the person your spouse cheated with is probably much better company than you and you have nothing to offer.

All these negative thoughts are paralyzing and can really take a strong hold on you. All of a sudden, the affair controls all your thoughts and brings all this negativity that you did not have to deal with before.You did not bring it on yourself, but it is the reality of the situation. The good news is that it does not have to become a permanent reality.

How to Break Your Negative Thought Patterns

The more you think about the details of the infidelity, the more these negative thought patterns take over. You may begin questioning things obsessively until it consumes you entirely. This inner turmoil can cause you to feel powerless and damage your self-esteem.

At a certain point, all the negative thought patters start to become a habit. But the good news is that habits can be broken. Here are some tips on how to break your negative thought patterns.

Step 1: Affirm to Yourself that Your Mind is Your Own Territory

At first, it can feel as thought the negative thoughts are happening to you, and not created by you. This explains why you feel so powerless to stop it. You must take back control of your mind. Only you allow what can and cannot enter your mind. Say out loud that your mind is your territory, write it down, and repeat it whenever you feel the negativity coming in. Make this affirmation until you start to believe that you are in control again.

Step 2: Examine Your Thoughts

Your negative thoughts about the affair have become a pattern, but now it is time to look at what specifically these negative thoughts consist of. Which nagging questions or images haunt you the most? What thoughts play out again and again? The best way to do this is to get a journal and write down what you come up with. When you write the thoughts down and see them objectively, they will start to lose their power and the hold they have over you.

Step 3: Get Rid of Your Negative Thought Patterns

Once you have examined your thoughts, try to think of some ways to push them out of your head. There is no right way to do this and there may be many solutions depending on who you are. Here is an example of how to come up with a method to get rid of your negative thoughts. If you observe that your negative thoughts happen at a particular time of day, when you are doing something in particular, you can use this to change the way you think in that situation.

For example, if you find yourself always thinking about the affair when you are driving to work and listening to talk radio, change the scenario. Turn on some music instead of the talk radio and sing along. Come up with any method you can to distract yourself from thinking about the affair at this time, and change up your drive to work so you stop associating it with you negative thought patterns.

Although it can feel like you are not in control of your thoughts, you are actually always able to regain control of your mind. When the habit of negative thoughts forms, it can take time to break it, but it is totally possible. By affirming to yourself that you are capable of changing negative thoughts, you will feel in control again and gain a new sense of power. Your negative thoughts will slowly fade away and become a thing of the past.

Please share your experience with negative thought patterns by leaving a comment below. What kind of thoughts did you have after finding out about the affair? How did these thoughts affect your quality of life? Were there triggers that set off these thoughts? Did you take steps to take back control of your mind, and what steps did you take? How did it make you feel to take back control?

My Wife Cheated on Me|Am I Responsible For My Spouse Cheating?

My Wife Cheated on MeYour Cheating Spouse and Your Responsibilities

Affairs are becoming common, but the pain they bring doesn’t dwindle. It is but natural for anyone to feel devastated, confused and betrayed. In fact, the multitude of emotions running over your body can also take over the rationality of your thoughts. You might even think that because marriage is a partnership, that you are to blame for your cheating spouse actions. Stop right there. You are not to blame. My Wife Cheated on Me that is the truth.

You might think that life would never return to normal once the affair goes public, but it does. It might even turn out better for you and you have some post affair responsibilities that can help you get through the difficulties.

Your Responsibilities To Your Marriage

It is in every responsible adult’s nature to want to save their marriage, especially if kids are involved. You might even feel that the reason for the affair was partly your fault. But actually, whether you’re the perfect partner or even if you drive your spouse crazy, the fact remains that cheating on you was his or her decision.

People have their own free will and rational thinking, so what an individual decides to do or not to do is solely on his or hew own shoulders. Your responsibility is only to accept that you also have faults in your marriage but not for what your spouse’s actions. You may have your own mistakes in your marriage, but that is not to be blamed for his or her mistakes. In fact, cheating only adds more problems making everything worse.

Right now, you might feel devastated. You ask yourself why he did it and even have thoughts that you were inadequate. Don’t let these thoughts run your life; you have to start rebuilding yourself so you can save your marriage. Your spouse’s infidelity not only affects you mentally and emotionally, but it can even be deleterious to your health.

So, your main responsibility is to help your self. It may seem challenging to get through this difficult phase in your life, but know that you can do it, and it will pass. Be a little selfish for now and work on all those thoughts and feelings of self-doubt and self-pity, and love yourself once more. Build up your self esteem and self respect and know that the affair wasn’t your fault.
It’s time to put yourself as your topmost priority.

Your Responsibilities Post-Affair

In order for you to start loving and respecting yourself, you have three key responsibilities: assume responsibility, accept reality, and satisfy yourself. Once you have mastered these responsibilities, regaining self-worth is easy.

Assuming Responsibility

Life is what you make it and happiness is a choice. Remember that this is your life, and you are responsible for it. Your aspirations, dreams and desires are still within your reach and you have the capacity to reach them. No one, not even a cheating spouse can ever take away your self worth and dignity from you.

It’s alright to wish that the affair didn’t happen and that it has affected you in ways you’d never expect; however, they’re all in the past. Nothing and no one can change what has been done. What’s more important is to live in the present and move forward towards a better future. What you decide to do about your life is your first key responsibility.

Accepting Reality

Now that you have assumed responsibility for your life, you have to accept that not everything is in your control. Do not be too hard on yourself and do not belittle your emotions. It is only natural to feel those complex feelings and difficult thoughts.

Our emotions do not make us weak, they only make us humans. So do not be hard on yourself, your key responsibility is to accept the reality of your situation. No matter how bleak and challenging it is, you have to work through your emotions, the pains and the nightmares. It is a normal process you have to go through so you can express responsibility for your life and deal with these harsh realities

Satisfy Yourself

Give yourself a break, you deserve it. In fact, you are also responsible for satisfying yourself. It’s not selfish to aspire for satisfying one’s needs. Do things that fulfill you emotionally and spiritually, things that make you fell alive once more. You may have forgotten to have fun as a couple even before the affair and could be a major problem in your marriage too. Remember any individual has their own needs too.

You have yours, your partner has his or hers and as a couple you also have needs. Think about those needs and take time to satisfy them, and start with satisfying yourself. Once you are happy and have rebuilt yourself, then you can start on your marriage.

Remember that the affair is not your fault; your spouse chose to do it so it’s all on his or her shoulder. In the same manner, know that what you do with your life after the affair, is also solely on you.

Take charge of your life and love yourself once more. In time, you’ll rekindle the magic within and even discover amazing things about yourself you never knew about. It may be difficult for you right now, but if you allow yourself and choose to be happy, you can still find inner peace and joy.

How to Recover From an Affair|Steps for Recovering from an affair

So you’ve just learned your partner was having an affair. Now the question: how to recover from an affair comes to place. Whether you suspected all along and just received confirmation, or you were suddenly confronted with irrefutable evidence, you are likely hurt, disappointed, angry, and devastated. These emotions are flooding your brain with chemicals, making it difficult for you to think clearly.

Steps for Recover from an affair:
1. Calm down so you can think clearly.
Research shows that when you are in a highly emotional state, you are unable to engage in higher order thinking. Your brain goes into reflexive mode, allowing you to either fight, flight or freeze. You need to gain control of these emotions by letting them go so you can be intentional about the decisions you need to make.

2. Get Clear about Your Options.
I always say there are three options when experiencing relationship problems:  you can change it, accept it, or leave it.
a. If you want things to change, there are two ways to go about attempting this. You can attempt to change your partner into doing what you want him or her to do. Or, you can attempt to change the situation by changing yourself. You can decide to do something different, change your perceptions, or change your expectations.
b. If you decide to accept it, you need to recognize what happened, know your partner is not perfect, and then decide to move on. This option means you have given up the idea you are going to change the situation. So, again, two options exist: you accept the affair as a mistake and together decide to rebuild your relationship or you recognize your partner may always be unfaithful but you get enough other benefits from your relationship you decide you can accept infidelity.
c. If you want to leave, you can leave emotionally or physically. Emotional leaving involves staying involved on a day-to-day basis but having little to no emotional investment in the relationship. You have built a wall to protect yourself and you don’t let your partner in. The other option is to leave the relationship physically. This means you end the relationship and each go your own separate ways.

3. Once you make a decision about the direction you want to go, know that in most cases it does not have to be a permanent decision. You may choose to try changing your partner’s behavior and your own, and then later decide to leave the relationship. Or you may decide to leave the relationship emotionally, and later invest in changing your own perceptions and behavior. There are any number of possibilities.

4. After you make your decision, stay true to your desires. Don’t allow other people to sway your thinking. Remember, they are not you. They have not lived your life. They may not have the same value system you have. They can only know what’s best for them, not you. Only you can truly know whats right for you so once you get clear, stay true to your inner knowing.

5. It is always helpful to get the unbiased support you need to intentionally, consciously implement your chosen option. You may have many people who will be willing to support you in their way but their way may not be the unbiased support you need. Find someone who will support you in following through on what you want, who doesn’t already have preconceived ideas about what might be best for you. A good life coach or counselor can help you move through these steps.

Remember, if you find yourself in the situation of feeling betrayed by your life partner, you are not at the mercy of his or her actions, or your emotions. You can make conscious, intentional decisions to move yourself in the direction you most want to go.

Surviving an Emotional Affair|What Is An Emotional Affair?

Surviving an Emotional AffairWhen your partner has begun an emotional relationship with somebody else, it can be hard defining this type of relationship. So what is an emotional affair anyway? Oftentimes, an intimate, close friendship with an outsider to the relationship can turn into an emotional affair. Despite the fact that there might not be any physical aspect to the relationship, the emotional involvement with the other person can be so intense that it is just as harmful to the relationship as a physical affair.

An affair can be defined as any relationship between a person and someone else besides his or her partner that has an affect on the closeness and overall dynamic of the relationship. This description touches on emotional affairs in addition to physical affairs.

When your partner has established a friendly relationship that has evolved to become deeper with time, the friendly relationship might have crossed the line and become an emotional affair. If your partner develops an emotional bond with a person outside the relationship, that detracts from the intimacy that should only be in your relationship. If the emotional bond with an outsider starts to harmfully affect your relationship, that is when it has crossed the line into an emotional affair.

There may be a thin line between a innocent friendship with someone outside the relationship and one that has developed into an emotional affair. This is why you may be wondering what is an emotional affair, because it is often hard to identify one. If you have questioned your partner about an emotional affair, they will predictably say that they are only friends and may accuse you of not wanting them to have friends of the opposite sex. This will often cause you to doubt yourself even more.

Having friends who are the opposite sex is completely normal and alright, but when one partner goes beyond the relationship to get something they are not getting in the relationship, then the friendship has crossed the line. This fulfillment that is sought out of the relationship does not have to be physical to call it an affair. Intimacy and emotional fulfillment are crucial in a relationship, and when one partner is going outside the relationship for emotional fulfillment, that might be really damaging.

A way to tell if your partner is engaging in an emotional affair is whether they tell the truth about the relationship with the other person. Does your partner try to conceal the friendship from you, or are they totally forthcoming about it? Do they report to you when they have texted or talked with the other person and share what the conversation was about, or do they try to conceal it?

With an emotional affair, your partner will commonly know that their behavior is incorrect and feel the need to hide it. It is common to feel guilty about conversing with someone outside the relationship on an intimate level, so there may be a feeling of needing to conceal the truth about it. Your partner is also likely to get defensive when asked about the emotional affair and maintain that it is only a friendship and say that it should be acceptable to have a friend of the opposite sex.

If you still have any confusion as to what is an emotional affair, just ask yourself whether or not something feels wrong. Your gut instinct will usually be right, so trust yourself if you feel that your partner has been developing an emotional relationship that feels inappropriate. You may just be right and you have every right to know the truth

How to Deal with Infidelity

how-to-deal-with-infidelityInfidelity normally leaves behind feelings of guilt, betrayal and anger and can shutter even the strongest of relationships. Most couples who have been unfortunate to go through this normally say that getting over the feelings can be quite difficult. However if a couple is willing to get over the events, there are a number of options they have when it comes to techniques on how to deal with infidelity. With the support of each other, family, friends and a professional therapist it is possible for a couple to push the affair behind them and some couples will even come out as a stronger unit.

There are some couples however who regardless of what they do cannot seem to get over the horrendous affair and have to break up. Before you make this final decision however there are some steps that you can work with in regards to how to deal with infidelity. This can help take the relationship to the right track and start the healing process effectively. One of the most important things here is to know why your partner had an affair to know if you can successful overcome this or if its time to both head for the door. Some of the steps include:

First and Foremost stop the affair

The first thing that needs to be done to start the healing process is to stop the affair. This is simply because it is not possible to reinvest in the relationship when you have one foot outside the door. Let the person that you were cheating with know you have been caught and that you will not be seeing them again. If they are the clingy types, you can even get a restraining order to show your partner that this is something that will not happen again and you are willing to give them all the love, care and attention they need.

Understand that it may take some time before things get back on track

After the affair, do not expect that you will apologize and things will go back to normal in record time. Be prepared to face the ups and downs that come with the journey and be strong enough to see these through to enjoy a happy and healthy relationship once more. Expect the partner you cheated on to bring up the subject every once in a while until they are ready to completely let go and start a fresh.

 

Be willing to explain what happened

Although this may be difficult, the person who cheated must be ready to explain what happened. This should be done in an open and honest manner so that it does not lead to further complications. This is important as it helps to get to the bottom of why it really happened where you can draw a map that will be used for the future of the relationship to avoid any slip ups. As you are explaining, do not expect your spouse to sit and smile at you but be ready to deal with yelling and maybe some occasional silence in rage until they are ready to comfortably talk to you. Here you should also be willing to be accountable for your whereabouts even when you feel it is not fair.

Talk about the future of the relationship

As you are looking for ways to deal with the infidelity, it is also vital that you discuss the future of the relationship so that the couple knows where they are really heading. The cheating spouse should be willing to make commitments and promises for the future to reassure their partner that they will do everything within their power to make sure they never lose trust in them again and love them like before or even better. These should be things that you are willing to keep so that you do not end up betraying your partner even more.

The betrayed person on the other hand should never rush or feel pressured to forgive the cheating spouse as it is not their fault. In fact they should have a timetable that will be used for recovery that the cheater should honor. But it is the responsibility of both parties to build a new foundation. For more tips and advice on dealing with infidelity use the product “survive her affair”.

5 Tips of Overcoming Betrayal and Getting Over an Affair

Infidelity is one of the things that cause relationships to break up. This is where a person’s spouse decides to go out of their marriage and have a relationship with someone else. Most of these are normally spontaneous while others are well planned out to ensure that the partner does not find out. Not most of them manage to keep their side relationships under wraps as their partners end up finding out about the hurtful thing. This is because getting over an affair is something most people are not willing to do and would rather go their separate ways.

Despite the fact that getting over an affair is something that can be quite challenging to overcome, it is possible if you follow the right steps. This is because the deception and lies can shock you in a devastating manner. It is quite frustrating to learn that someone you had once trusted and given all your love to can go out and betray you throwing everything you had invested in the relationship to the wind.. Below you will find some steps that can be followed to put you on the right track to recovery.

 

Take some time off

As soon as you find out about the affair, do not act in anger as it is best to take some time off. This can be done when you are alone or even with the kids as it helps you to gain some clarity on the whole issue. You can opt to go on a weekend holiday or just at a friend’s house to get the personal time that is worth it. At this point in time, it is also important to surround yourself with people that you genuinely love such as parents to get all the support needed.

 

Put yourself first

At this trying time, do not start blaming yourself as you should always remember to put yourself first. Learn how to love and value yourself more. If it’s possible, you can open your own bank account if you do not have one already. To start the healing process, you can go for counseling alone first. You can also find online support groups that can help make the burden lighter. As scary as this may sound, you also need to get tested for HIV and other STDS to be on the safe side.

 

Make a decision on whether you want to go or stay

This is a decision that you do not have to make right away and you can take all the time that is needed to make an informed decision that you will not end up regretting later. Do not feel like you have to settle for less as the decision you make should make your life better. You can also gauge whether your spouse is really sorry for the actions or it is something that will reoccur even as the marriage goes on.

 

If you choose to stay

If you make a decision to stay in the relationship, be ready to start a fresh on a clean slate. Beware of the honeymoon stage that could end up giving you false security as many couples go through a stage of bliss that is rapidly overtaken by euphoria. No matter how long the honeymoon stage lasts be sure that eventually reality will have to kick in. If you feel like you have to know your spouse’s movements at all time, it is okay because rebuilding trust is not something that will happen overnight. But if you choose to let go of the relationship do not look back and work towards recollecting your life and explaining the situation to the children.

 

Do not be tempted to revenge

As much as the other man/woman got to your last nerve, do not be tempted to revenge. This is simply because it will never help you get control and it will always come back to haunt you. You also do not want to stoop to the cheaters level. There are healthy ways you can channel your anger such as talking to a friend, yelling, engaging in a sport such as boxing to make sure you let go of all the negative energy. This will also help you move on faster.

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